I’m in a men’s Bible study group that meets once a month. Each month we are tasked with a number of different homework assignments, including reading a book, praying and one thing related to our spouses. This past month we were given around 50 different character traits and asked to circle three, and only three, traits that best describe our wives.
Obviously, I circled “train smoke hot.” Okay, it just said “sexy.” But before that I first circled “supportive.”
I work 60+ hours per week. Even when I’m not in the office my brain is always working. I haven’t built my businesses because I’m the smartest person. I’ve built them through pure hustle.
The same goes for my athletic adventures. I’m not a natural athlete. I’m not fast or strong. I never played sports growing up. I’ve run lots of marathons, completed a brutal GORUCK HTL and become an IRONMAN by putting in the hours. The last three weeks of my IRONMAN training saw me training 20+ hours each week.
I’ve stayed focused. I’ve worked my ass off. But these aren’t accomplishments I’ve tackled on my own. They are also accomplishments for my wife, Elizabeth.
Let me state as clear as I can – DO NOT ATTEMPT entrepreneurship, crazy endurance events or any other huge time sucking endeavor without a spouse as supportive as mine.
I bring home money. I help out around the house. I watch the boys so that Elizabeth can also tackle her goals. But make no mistake about it – Elizabeth keeps our lives together. She keeps the house together. She pays the bills. She keeps the schedule. She handles the boys. She has my back at all times.
I’m out of the bed by 4 am and out the door by 5 am. I go hard all day and often have late work events. I often live out of airports and hotels. I disappear for over five hours at a time on weekends for long training days. I drop lots of money signing up for events, buying equipment and training. Never does she complain.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not an absent husband or father. They come first. All I’m saying is that I’ve heard other spouses complain about their husbands (or wives) doing similar things and those folks are unable to do what I do because they catch a lot of shit about it.
I don’t disappear to golf, hunt or fish like a lot of my buddies, but I do disappear. And, 98% of the time my wife is cool as a cucumber about it. I mean I’m not going to lie here. Maybe twice a year she will get fed up with it. She is human after all. But man, when I think about it, I’m one of the luckiest men in the world to have found a wife like Elizabeth.
As I’m writing this post, I’m finding it hard to put it all into words. I’m not being very articulate. Let me let Elizabeth speak for herself. Watch this video from mile 18 of my IRONMAN marathon run. I was in so much pain. I had been throwing up. I got so overheated that I started having chills. Listen to the support I got from my wife…
This isn’t a rare occurrence. She wasn’t being this supportive because I was in the middle of the race. This is always Elizabeth. She’s pushes me to do better and to be better. She encourages me when I’m down and singularly picks me back up.
In summary, make sure your spouse:
- Is bought in on the goal
- Understands your commitment
- Understands what it will put on them
- Understands the financial cost
- Most importantly – will be your cheerleader when you need it most
Everything I am is because of Elizabeth. Every accomplishment is also hers.